Hitam Putih

Hitam Putih

The concept of duality, like a checker board pattern, Good vs Evil, Black vs White, Yin and Yang for a balance of life. Is that simple?

It's in life we just choose to be a good or bad, because duality of life make a balance in life?
Even the angel and evil actually side by side to educate people's to find the meaning in life?
It will be no problem either you choose black or white, it's just your part or destiny, is inside you and you fulfill your life?

I don't like the simplicity of life, yet I don't like its too complicated. I'm not in nowhere but I'm in the process to find the right path.

And I surrender (try to surrender) to the God, I choose to believe that I'm the leader for me to the journey in the 'earth stage' life.

Note: I'm wondering why every time I'm writing something here, it's ended with I'm writing something different from my first though, I just let it flow...

Salaam

Bianca

Long life live

What is fair and unfair?
Who is the owner of the Fairness?

You can witness so many unfairness in your life and where is your part?
Where is the best place you can stand?

You can read the news about the Minister's son kill people's on the road and not go to the jailed and next time you read the news that the girl jump over from the public transport, died and the public transport driver go to the jail. I don't know who is right and who is wrong, but its so clear message here, it's depend who you are for getting the Law impact.

Low class people can be jailed for stealing, thief small things like sandals, melons, fruits or whatever.
High class people will call the attorneys for defending them, stand for them for corruption, killing and cheating or whatever...

Laws are look like only for middle to low class people, the class that created by human on the earth with the boundary called country...

Others are untouchable yet still powerfull.

This is the world I'm living rite now

To witness so many thing that make my heart hard and hardener time by time, I'm afraid that I will lost the soft my heart someday. Lost my capability to cry and empathy.

Salaam

Bianca

Value of your life

What are our value these days?
Number is it?

We are depending on how much we have the number received every month in the account, and how much number are left at the end of the month? How happy we are to see if our score of appraisal are above some limits, this is will be for the sake of bonus number also.

Some people are sometimes ridiculously did not count the friendship which are have more value than numbers, to intentionally give friends a bad number, because maybe afraid that friend will get more attention or more number and want to declare all the job are succeed only because one person job. Pathetic.

Really its not me, I'm not talking about my self, because I just happy to see my score, whatever my boss give, honestly I thing I'm not deserve that well. Because sometimes I'm against what my Boss want or told, a bit rebellious. I'm quiet outspoken for whatever I like or don't like and my Boss know me well, as I always said to everybody that I'm in love with my job, but not with the company, meaning if stay in one place make me hurt, I just found other place off course.

For me it's not always for number, sometimes just for the cozy place with a lot of challenge...
Now actually I'm out of topic, the things that bother my mind that make me open the laptop and write this is that I thing I lost somethng.

For the sake of number of amount that I received every month of the cheque that I got, I left my family behind. The urge of have to pay this and that, have this and that, or additional shopping pleasure, I'm working very hard and forget my main job. To raise my child, to be with her and witness every step of life until she got ready to be a human and fulfilled her life by guidance of the Creator of the Universe. Sometimes I even forget how I should behave as a mother and wife, forget the value of life is the family. For the sake of number that even not a day in my account.

I even very seldom to see that number is exist. Once I received it, its gone, for payment, for insurance, for credit, for school fee, for daily expense and for saving.

Is this number are really exist? Who is controlling this number? do its really worth it to left my family or my natural job for this not exist number??

I cant say we, but I, some of the people I meet and I know are sometimes forget the value of family,  value of friendship and humanity...

*Uuughhh... my friend are calling and I forget some of the things that I want to write here. It's just my random though, and I will spill everything here...

Salaam

Bianca

Top Hit List

Seriously...

I was a big fan of MTV, waktu di sekolah menengah kayanya keren beneeer kalau tau lagu lagu yang diputar di MTV, video klip yang seru seru,

Video klip Aerosmith, crying sama amazing woooow banget deh, anak smp yang lagi puber menghayalkan ciuman yang super duper hot, hmmmm...

Sampai adikku yang masih sekolah dasar protes, karena sehari hari aku nontonnya ya si MTV ini, bosen amat sih kak, apa yang diliat coba? nyanyi nyanyi melulu... ooow my sister, ini happening and sangat keren dong...

Waktu akhirnya menjauhkan dari segala video music, sampai akhirnya aku rutin mengantar anakku ke sekolah, dan hiburanku selama bersama anakku adalah radio, radio anak muda dengan music dan lagu terbaru..

Aku protes ke adikku, kenapa semua musiknya sama aja, beatnya sama, tipe suara sama? Sekarang adikku yang penggemar si video music dan segala lagu R&B, HipHop dan kawan kawan, aku biasanya cukup rajin membaca segala berita di situs berita online, kadang aku tahu nama artisnya tapi tidak tahu lagunya yang mana.

Hasil mendengarkan lagu lagu di radio itu, kenapa lagu lagu Top Hit List isinya ga jauh jauh dari Let's get Party? Let's get drunk? Let's Dance forever sama let's loose your mind ato Let's loose control?
hampir tidak ada lagi lagu lagu cinta yang manis dan tulus, lagu yang menyentuh hati, semua lagu mengajak kita bergoyang dan membuat jantung berdebar dengan cepat.

Dan anakku ternyata penghapal lagu yang cepat, dia jadi hapal beberapa bait lagunya, hapal musiknya... Parahnya pernah pula sekolah anakku pentas dengan tema cerita putri happily ever after, tapi latar belakang musiknya lagu lagu terkini Justin Bieber, Katy Perry, Usher... What??

Mau ngajarin anak anak musik diskotik apa??

Salam

Bianca

Journey to My Passion

Sejujurnya...

Blog ini merupakan therapy untuk diriku sendiri...
menulis dan menulis, apa saja kecuali pekerjaan dan kehidupan sehari hariku..

Ada hal yang mengusik diriku, mengganggu dan menyita sebagian waktuku, membuatku lupa pada hal hal yang seharusnya aku lakukan.

Saat ini pekerjaan adalah "handler" ku segala sesuatu yang kulakukan hanya untuk kerja, kerja dan kerja.... walaupun aku menyukai pekerjaanku, mencintai malah, tapi aku kehilangan jiwa spiritualku, dan kadang ini membuat jiwaku kosong dan bertanya tanya.

Disela sela pekerjaan yang menumpuk, aku menyibukkan diri mencari hal yang aku suka, yang paling ingin aku lakukan, saat ini semua seperti benang kusut dan tidak terarah, melalui jurnal jurnal yang akan aku tulis ini, aku berharap aku dapat mengerti diriku sendiri... tujuan dari penciptaanku dan memenuhi misi penciptaanku di dunia.

Aku ingin berdoa dengan khusyu
Aku ingin tidak membohongi hati nuraniku
Aku ingin damai dan berguna dalam hidup yang singkat ini
Aku akan berusaha temukan lagi percik percik itu dalam diriku sendiri..
dan disini akan kurekam jejak jejak pencarian kedalam diriku sendiri,
Ke hati nurani, ke aliran darah, ke dalam rangkaian fikiran, ke dalam tiap partikel tubuh

Temani aku kawan dalam pencarian ini
Resolusiku tahun ini : Journey to search my soul, its lost or i've never found it, let's walk with me, I hope that you find your soul as well.

Salam

Bianca

My New Blog and my first post

Salaam.

Aku Bianca,

Namaku Bianca, Not my real name off course, but I'm real person. No Transaction activity here, this place are dedicated for my random though, since I have a blog with my real name here and there. Mungkin teman teman blogger suatu hari akan mengetahui identitasku, nggak masalah, hanya ingin menulis hal hal lain diluar dari yang biasa aku tuliskan.

Kenapa namanya Bianca? Karena namanya kedengaran manis dan juga kuat. Aku menyukai tokoh Bianca yang aku baca dari komik topeng kaca, dan Bianca juga sahabat putriku. Sahabat pertamanya sejak dia pindah sekolah, padahal di sekolah sebelumnya dia lebih lama, entah kenapa dia mencintai sekolahnya yang baru.

Aku punya beberapa blog sebelum ini, isinya rata rata mengenai pekerjaan, kehidupan sehari hari, curhat curhat ga penting. Nah disini aku akan menulis hal hal yang aku cintai, yang paling ingin aku lakukan sebagai manusia, sebagai seorang pencari diri, aku akan menuliskan pencarian jati diriku disini....

I want to start here, journey of my life, searching for the meaning of life. They said its kind of therapy  for your soul..

Salam

Bianca